where do i even begin? it's been coming at me from all angles lately, and i'm trying to fight the battle between the necessity to do work right now and the compulsion to share every detail of my past 2 weeks, which included a second honeymoon to disney world (best week of my entire life ever ever...too much goodness) and more than a few insights. i guess i'll start with the major insight and see how far i get before the guilt of not doing work builds up too much to ignore.
before i left for disney world, i had this "aha" moment. what i want more than anything else is to be creative, and that is how the image of God is reflected in me. i want to be a little creator, and i think God is pleased with that. i think that's who He created me to be. He put in me His desire to see raw materials (whether its fabric and thread or words and notes or paper and colors) brought together to make something beautiful, some representation of life and truth.
as i was thinking about that, He said, "you have everything you need right now to live." (i knew He meant that i have all of the raw materials that i need to be creative and to thrive in my current context.) i was a little startled by that revelation because i've been thinking the opposite for so long. "i don't have the space." "i don't have the time." "i don't have the creative community." "i don't have the inspiration." "i don't have the creative energy." so hearing that He has given me everything that i need, i realized that (here is the "aha") conditions will never be ideal. right now, it's a job that bores and annoys me and a lack of people to create with. in a few years, it will be that i'm too busy with kids or i feel guilty spending money on materials because jason and i are being supported by the church. but in my life right now, i have a craft space. i have a job that gets me home by 5:00. and i have a bunch of stuff lying around that's waiting to be put together. and i think that God wants to use this time in my life to start to develop the discipline i've always lacked when i'm without a clear deadline. i think He wants me to stop making excuses and to learn to see and cultivate inspiration, even when everything seems dark. so i've decided to create something start to finish every week, whether it's a song or a sewing project or something special to eat. it's a very small goal, but i figure...baby steps. i need to start to cultivate a habit of creativity that hopefully will someday lead to a lifestyle of creativity. and there's the hope i've been so desperate for over the past year and a half. i now have some sort of purpose, a goal, a way to see this time in my life as more than a waste or a beating. i'm not stuck. i have everything i need to live.
and with that little spark dimly but relentlessly gleaming, i need to get back to the paperwork that piled up while jason and i were living it up in the happiest place on earth. anybody else want to move to florida and work at disney world with me??
2.25.2009
2.04.2009
secrets, sovereignty, and a sorry attempt at good news
i've written and saved and not posted quite a few entries over the past three months. so i've been more secretive than silent. and i suppose that's good. i've been struggling with the balance of wanting to be honest and not wanting to be depressing. i guess i'll break the secret here.
i've had a very difficult time coming back from Christmas vacation. to be very broad and theological, i'm struggling with questions of God's sovereignty, not whether or not He is in control, but more so the hidden motives behind His control, when to wait on Him and when to take ownership of my life and do something, those sorts of things. because if i believe in "God's economy," if i believe He doesn't waste anything, then i have to believe that this season in my life has a purpose, that it's preparing me for something. and if that's the case, then the inescapable conclusion is that i am purposed to be a human sacrifice, slowly burning out for the needs of the people around me and for God, with all of this untapped potential in me for the sole purpose of having something to give up for God. now the last i heard, God was not in the business of making extraordinary people mediocre. i had always thought that He was about doing things the other way around. and i'm trying very hard to believe that...even now, even in this dark and constricting place. but it's easier to believe what i see and experience and feel than to hope. because if the hope disappoints, i will break. and the damage will be irreparable.
so unfortunately, i don't have sunshine and daisies for you today. i write only to inform the general blogosphere that i'm still alive. some days it feels more like hanging on by threads than actually living, but my heart is still beating. my lungs are still somewhat functional. i've got brain waves and a pulse and all of those other vital signs. and in the end, i suppose that's good news.
i've had a very difficult time coming back from Christmas vacation. to be very broad and theological, i'm struggling with questions of God's sovereignty, not whether or not He is in control, but more so the hidden motives behind His control, when to wait on Him and when to take ownership of my life and do something, those sorts of things. because if i believe in "God's economy," if i believe He doesn't waste anything, then i have to believe that this season in my life has a purpose, that it's preparing me for something. and if that's the case, then the inescapable conclusion is that i am purposed to be a human sacrifice, slowly burning out for the needs of the people around me and for God, with all of this untapped potential in me for the sole purpose of having something to give up for God. now the last i heard, God was not in the business of making extraordinary people mediocre. i had always thought that He was about doing things the other way around. and i'm trying very hard to believe that...even now, even in this dark and constricting place. but it's easier to believe what i see and experience and feel than to hope. because if the hope disappoints, i will break. and the damage will be irreparable.
so unfortunately, i don't have sunshine and daisies for you today. i write only to inform the general blogosphere that i'm still alive. some days it feels more like hanging on by threads than actually living, but my heart is still beating. my lungs are still somewhat functional. i've got brain waves and a pulse and all of those other vital signs. and in the end, i suppose that's good news.
11.10.2008
the truest thing about you
here's a little food for thought from sacred rhythms: arranging our lives for spiritual transformation by ruth haley barton:
"your desire for more of God than you have right now, your longing for love, your need for deeper levels of spiritual transformation than you have experienced so far is the truest thing about you. you might think that your woundedness or your sinfulness is the truest thing about you or that your giftedness or your personality type or your job title or your identity as husband or wife, mother or father, somehow defines you. but in reality, it is your desire for God and your capacity to reach for more of God than you have right now that is the deepest essence of who you are."
what would my life look like if i lived as if that were true?
"your desire for more of God than you have right now, your longing for love, your need for deeper levels of spiritual transformation than you have experienced so far is the truest thing about you. you might think that your woundedness or your sinfulness is the truest thing about you or that your giftedness or your personality type or your job title or your identity as husband or wife, mother or father, somehow defines you. but in reality, it is your desire for God and your capacity to reach for more of God than you have right now that is the deepest essence of who you are."
what would my life look like if i lived as if that were true?
11.05.2008
david dark, the Kingdom, and hospitality
first of all, here is a link to a david dark talking head which he posted on his blog yesterday. secondly, let me say that david dark is a person who makes me truly believe that the Kingdom has come and that living as if that were true is actually a real possibility.
towards the end of this little video, he mentions "hospitality." maybe God is just trying to teach me something, but i've seen "hospitality" popping up all over the place in the past couple of months. theme of orientation chapel at gordon: hospitality. theme of my church's women's retreat: hospitality. a main emphasis in my seminary wives class: hospitality. i'm reading a book about spiritual direction--first chapter: welcoming the stranger--hospitality! and now david dark: hospitality, a vital part of living out Jesus' teachings.
i think i've always instinctively known the importance of hospitality. for those of you who know my mom at all, i'm sure you can find that very easily believe. my house was always the social gathering place. my mom always had chocolate chip cookies made when friends came over, even into my college years. she teaches her basket-weaving classes out of our home, and even though that's a business, she still makes sure that people are comfortable and free to share their lives, and in that, she models "welcoming the stranger." at different points while i was growing up, we had at least 7 different non-family members living at our house for long periods of time. we even had about a dozen or so people staying at our house for 4 days before mine and jason's wedding. (turns out that that may have been a crazy idea, but it seemed like a very natural thing to do.)
as i'm learning more about hospitality, i'm starting to understand that it's not just about having people over and making sure the house is presentable and baking cookies, (although i put great stock in the spiritual significance of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies). hospitality is about creating space in every encounter to see the image of God in people, to make them feel safe and valued, even in brief encounters. it's about really listening to them. it's about being vulnerable and inviting them to take part in your life, sharing from the abundance or the meagerness of whatever you have. david dark would add that it's about finding people interesting. (one of his quotes from rock n roll camp that is forever burned into my memory is, "i think there's something a little demonic in finding people uninteresting.")
now if all that is true--and i believe that it is--there is something that is required of me, and it's more than just making nice with people or having them over for dinner. it's a Kingdom calling. it's a lifestyle that--like jason's junior year chapel message--calls us to abandon the arrogance of "bringing Jesus to people" and instead forces us to see Jesus in people. yes, there is a danger of pantheism in seeing God in everyone, but i think the bigger danger comes when we make people invisible, when we fail to recognize the eternal significance of another person.
we all know the matthew 25 passage where Jesus says, "if you have done it to the least of these, you have done it to me." and what's He talking about here? clothing the naked, feeding the hungry, tending the sick, visiting the imprisoned--hospitality!! and when we do those things--whether it is taking care of people's physical needs or clothing the emotionally naked, feeding the intellectually hungry, tending the spiritually sick, or visiting the psychologically imprisoned--we do those things to Jesus. and that takes the martyrdom out of service and replaces it with high privilege..and some holy trembling if you ask me.
i'm rambling a bit here. i guess what i mainly want to know is: is hospitality popping up in your world, too? if so, what are you learning about it? what are you finding challenging about it? where are you meeting God in it? how do we change its connotation from the work of quaint little pastors' wives to a subversive and Kingdom-coming activity? what do you think of when you hear "the hospitality of Jesus" or "the hospitality of the cross" or "the hospitality of God"? or maybe you were struck by some completely different aspect of David Dark's video: creation care, Jesus as "the bloke who tried to help," or something else entirely. any immediate reactions?? any thoughts??
towards the end of this little video, he mentions "hospitality." maybe God is just trying to teach me something, but i've seen "hospitality" popping up all over the place in the past couple of months. theme of orientation chapel at gordon: hospitality. theme of my church's women's retreat: hospitality. a main emphasis in my seminary wives class: hospitality. i'm reading a book about spiritual direction--first chapter: welcoming the stranger--hospitality! and now david dark: hospitality, a vital part of living out Jesus' teachings.
i think i've always instinctively known the importance of hospitality. for those of you who know my mom at all, i'm sure you can find that very easily believe. my house was always the social gathering place. my mom always had chocolate chip cookies made when friends came over, even into my college years. she teaches her basket-weaving classes out of our home, and even though that's a business, she still makes sure that people are comfortable and free to share their lives, and in that, she models "welcoming the stranger." at different points while i was growing up, we had at least 7 different non-family members living at our house for long periods of time. we even had about a dozen or so people staying at our house for 4 days before mine and jason's wedding. (turns out that that may have been a crazy idea, but it seemed like a very natural thing to do.)
as i'm learning more about hospitality, i'm starting to understand that it's not just about having people over and making sure the house is presentable and baking cookies, (although i put great stock in the spiritual significance of freshly-baked chocolate chip cookies). hospitality is about creating space in every encounter to see the image of God in people, to make them feel safe and valued, even in brief encounters. it's about really listening to them. it's about being vulnerable and inviting them to take part in your life, sharing from the abundance or the meagerness of whatever you have. david dark would add that it's about finding people interesting. (one of his quotes from rock n roll camp that is forever burned into my memory is, "i think there's something a little demonic in finding people uninteresting.")
now if all that is true--and i believe that it is--there is something that is required of me, and it's more than just making nice with people or having them over for dinner. it's a Kingdom calling. it's a lifestyle that--like jason's junior year chapel message--calls us to abandon the arrogance of "bringing Jesus to people" and instead forces us to see Jesus in people. yes, there is a danger of pantheism in seeing God in everyone, but i think the bigger danger comes when we make people invisible, when we fail to recognize the eternal significance of another person.
we all know the matthew 25 passage where Jesus says, "if you have done it to the least of these, you have done it to me." and what's He talking about here? clothing the naked, feeding the hungry, tending the sick, visiting the imprisoned--hospitality!! and when we do those things--whether it is taking care of people's physical needs or clothing the emotionally naked, feeding the intellectually hungry, tending the spiritually sick, or visiting the psychologically imprisoned--we do those things to Jesus. and that takes the martyrdom out of service and replaces it with high privilege..and some holy trembling if you ask me.
i'm rambling a bit here. i guess what i mainly want to know is: is hospitality popping up in your world, too? if so, what are you learning about it? what are you finding challenging about it? where are you meeting God in it? how do we change its connotation from the work of quaint little pastors' wives to a subversive and Kingdom-coming activity? what do you think of when you hear "the hospitality of Jesus" or "the hospitality of the cross" or "the hospitality of God"? or maybe you were struck by some completely different aspect of David Dark's video: creation care, Jesus as "the bloke who tried to help," or something else entirely. any immediate reactions?? any thoughts??
10.30.2008
buck up
so it's been quite a while since i've posted. i've been writing quite a bit but haven't posted for any number of reasons. but as i looked today and saw that i am quickly approaching the 2 month mark of blog neglect, i figured i should post something.
i've decided that when i have nothing really personal and current to say, i'm going to talk about music. i'm going to start compiling lists of songs. my rules for myself are:
1) to have lists of no more than 10 songs
2) to use only music that is on my ipod (just so i don't get overwhelmed by trying to think of every song in the world)
3) to list the songs in no particular order. the point here is for simplicity. i'm not trying to be critical here...not necessarily making any sort of musical statement. i'm just going for a good playlist and inviting you--yes you--to join in the conversation.
that's it. so here we go...
top 10 buck up songs
(these are the songs i listen to when i am mopey and need to snap out of it)
"say goodbye good" by the promise ring
"the valley" by sarah masen
"here comes the sun" by the beatles
"with a little help from my friends" by the beatles
"getting better" by the beatles
"philosophy" by ben folds
"this year" by the mountain goats
"you can't always get what you want" by the rolling stones
"section 14 (two thousand places)" by the polyphonic spree
"hoppipolla" by sigur ros
(i have a song-by-song explanation of this playlist but decided to leave it out because it felt a little self-indulgent. if you're curious, i can post that also...probably on the comments of this post.)
alright...now it's your turn. what song(s) lift(s) you up from the depths and prepare(s) you to re-enter the world as a more empowered person? readygo.
i've decided that when i have nothing really personal and current to say, i'm going to talk about music. i'm going to start compiling lists of songs. my rules for myself are:
1) to have lists of no more than 10 songs
2) to use only music that is on my ipod (just so i don't get overwhelmed by trying to think of every song in the world)
3) to list the songs in no particular order. the point here is for simplicity. i'm not trying to be critical here...not necessarily making any sort of musical statement. i'm just going for a good playlist and inviting you--yes you--to join in the conversation.
that's it. so here we go...
top 10 buck up songs
(these are the songs i listen to when i am mopey and need to snap out of it)
"say goodbye good" by the promise ring
"the valley" by sarah masen
"here comes the sun" by the beatles
"with a little help from my friends" by the beatles
"getting better" by the beatles
"philosophy" by ben folds
"this year" by the mountain goats
"you can't always get what you want" by the rolling stones
"section 14 (two thousand places)" by the polyphonic spree
"hoppipolla" by sigur ros
(i have a song-by-song explanation of this playlist but decided to leave it out because it felt a little self-indulgent. if you're curious, i can post that also...probably on the comments of this post.)
alright...now it's your turn. what song(s) lift(s) you up from the depths and prepare(s) you to re-enter the world as a more empowered person? readygo.
9.10.2008
let it be said of me
when i interviewed for this job, i was told repeatedly: "you work for department chairs, not all the other 70 odd professors in your departments. they will ask you for work, and you'll have to say, 'no.' you'll be way too busy to handle their work on top of everything else." now, i'm not saying that i was lied to. but. i still have whole stretches of days when i have nothing to do. i think the cause of this is 3-fold: 1) i'm still learning what i'm supposed to be doing. it's possible that i don't yet know every single thing for which i am responsible. 2) just about everything on my "to do" list requires at least one--but usually several--level(s) of approval from people who are way busier than i am. 3) jason thinks that maybe i have an over-developed, super-human work ethic. i don't think this is true. maybe i inherited my mom's hyper-thyroid, although one of the primary differences between my mom and me is that i am perfectly capable of sitting still and doing absolutely nothing for long stretches of time...at least when i'm at home. and maybe that's the ticket: when i am in an atmosphere where i am comfortable, i have no problem relaxing and enjoying having nothing to do. but when i am in a place where i feel awkward, i have the insatiable compulsion to be helpful.
sometimes i wish i were a different sort of person...one who could fill her downtime at work with office chit-chat and attempts to build relationships with my co-workers. even here where i really enjoy all of the people i work with, where i actually want to get to know them, even--gasp--be friends with them, i find it extremely difficult to overcome my "i don't want to bother anyone" complex and initiate--or even participate in--friendly interactions. weird, right? i'm a friendly person. i like people (mostly). i'm not exceptionally awkward or intimidatable.
but i think different spheres hold different values for me. if you asked me on any given day, "what is the most important thing on earth?", i would probably say "community, people, relationships," and i believe this. there is not a single more important investment of time and energy and love than another human being. (some might argue personal devotion to God, but i happen to believe that our devotion to God is meant to be lived out in the context of community. i think Jesus believes this, too.)
but in the context of a work environment, my primary values are productivity, efficiency, and competence. when my coworkers talk about me, what i would most want them to say is, "robin is really good at her job. when i need something done right and quickly, she's the one to go to. i can always count on her. she can do it all." not to be braggy, but that's been my reputation at every job i've ever had. i am a work horse. i go the extra mile. and i'm proud of that. i think my coworkers all think i'm nice and pleasant. but they don't know that i'm also deep and passionate. they have no idea that i have more to offer than copier-unjamming skills and fast turn-around times. and i don't feel compelled to show them. in my 5 or so years of working, i can count the number of deep, meaningful conversations with a coworker on one hand. pretty crazy, huh? cause i love deep, meaningful conversations. but the opportunities aren't readily available, and i don't seek them out. because when i am at work, that busy-busy-busy compulsion takes over and the rest of robin goes to sleep.
this got me thinking, if i hold different values in the different roles and arenas of my life, what do i want to be said of me everywhere else?
at work: that i am efficient, reliable, and speedyquick
in my marriage: that i am fun, supportive, and easy to love
with my friends: that i am imaginative and deep and a good listener
at church: that i am helpful, wise beyond my years, and friendly
for my family: that i am high-spirited, loving, and available
for myself: that i am talented, passionate, and competent
and everywhere: that i am honest, creative, and smart.
this isn't to say that i actually am all of these things. in fact, i'm mostly not these things. i fail to reach these ideals a lot, especially with my family. if you asked anyone in my family if i am "available," they would probably either laugh or cry. and if you asked jason if i am "easy to love," he would probably be more nice than honest. but these are the things that i really want to be.
how about you? what do you want to be said of you in the many spheres of your life?
(and yes, this may or may not be a shameless plea for comments. but i'm also curious. and i think it's a good thing to think about. so....readygo!!)
sometimes i wish i were a different sort of person...one who could fill her downtime at work with office chit-chat and attempts to build relationships with my co-workers. even here where i really enjoy all of the people i work with, where i actually want to get to know them, even--gasp--be friends with them, i find it extremely difficult to overcome my "i don't want to bother anyone" complex and initiate--or even participate in--friendly interactions. weird, right? i'm a friendly person. i like people (mostly). i'm not exceptionally awkward or intimidatable.
but i think different spheres hold different values for me. if you asked me on any given day, "what is the most important thing on earth?", i would probably say "community, people, relationships," and i believe this. there is not a single more important investment of time and energy and love than another human being. (some might argue personal devotion to God, but i happen to believe that our devotion to God is meant to be lived out in the context of community. i think Jesus believes this, too.)
but in the context of a work environment, my primary values are productivity, efficiency, and competence. when my coworkers talk about me, what i would most want them to say is, "robin is really good at her job. when i need something done right and quickly, she's the one to go to. i can always count on her. she can do it all." not to be braggy, but that's been my reputation at every job i've ever had. i am a work horse. i go the extra mile. and i'm proud of that. i think my coworkers all think i'm nice and pleasant. but they don't know that i'm also deep and passionate. they have no idea that i have more to offer than copier-unjamming skills and fast turn-around times. and i don't feel compelled to show them. in my 5 or so years of working, i can count the number of deep, meaningful conversations with a coworker on one hand. pretty crazy, huh? cause i love deep, meaningful conversations. but the opportunities aren't readily available, and i don't seek them out. because when i am at work, that busy-busy-busy compulsion takes over and the rest of robin goes to sleep.
this got me thinking, if i hold different values in the different roles and arenas of my life, what do i want to be said of me everywhere else?
at work: that i am efficient, reliable, and speedyquick
in my marriage: that i am fun, supportive, and easy to love
with my friends: that i am imaginative and deep and a good listener
at church: that i am helpful, wise beyond my years, and friendly
for my family: that i am high-spirited, loving, and available
for myself: that i am talented, passionate, and competent
and everywhere: that i am honest, creative, and smart.
this isn't to say that i actually am all of these things. in fact, i'm mostly not these things. i fail to reach these ideals a lot, especially with my family. if you asked anyone in my family if i am "available," they would probably either laugh or cry. and if you asked jason if i am "easy to love," he would probably be more nice than honest. but these are the things that i really want to be.
how about you? what do you want to be said of you in the many spheres of your life?
(and yes, this may or may not be a shameless plea for comments. but i'm also curious. and i think it's a good thing to think about. so....readygo!!)
9.03.2008
rest for the weary
man oh man has this been a crazy summer! here's a little recap of my weekends:
july 4th- jason's sister jenna comes to visit
july 11th- pack for move
july 18th- move into new apartment
july 25th- a few days with my sisters and brothers-in-law in south carolina, robbie and lauren's wedding
august 1st- day trip to new jersey
august 8th- hannah and josh's wedding in seattle
august 15th- emily and devin's wedding in minnesota, start new job on monday
august 22nd- finish unpacking
august 29th- day trip to old sturbridge village and my parents come to visit
september 5th- last weekend before jason starts school
it's been so wonderful to be able to see so much of our friends and family this summer. i'm so thankful that jason and i have such quality people in our lives, even if they are all spread out across the country. it was so refreshing to reconnect with people who have seen us grow and know us so well and who we can be 100% ourselves around without even trying. (i'm even thankful for the job--that i never have to go back to ever ever again--that allowed us to save some money for travelling this summer.)
and as restful and life-giving as all that community/reconnection was, boy am i glad to be in one place for a little while!! our summer adventures included about 35 hours of driving, 10 flights, 6 states, 4 family visits, 3 weddings, switching homes, switching jobs, and jason starting at a new school. it was definitely better than last summer (new marriage, pneumonia, moving to a new state/culture, new jobs, new church, new everything). it was a rocky start to a new life to say the least. way too many transitions, way too little time to enjoy being a wife and having a husband. but now, we feel like we finally have the life we set out to get last year. jason's starting school, i'm working at gordon, we're living on campus, and we're starting our second year of youth ministry (which we pray will be easier than the first). :o)
and i am like a different person, or rather...like the person i used to be. now, i don't go to bed at night hoping that i'll be sick the next morning. i don't lay in bed in the morning rationalizing how crappy i need to feel to justify calling in. i just go to bed and wake up (still very slowly--still so not a morning person), and i start my day. i go to work, and i have work to do, and sometimes i go to the gym afterwards, and when i get home, there is still plenty of time left in the day! it's truly amazing the difference having an afternoon makes. and i get to be in a setting that i care about, where i get to be creative now and then, and where i am constantly learning. i don't think this is my forever job--i'm realizing more and more how much i want to teach--but it's really ideal for the moment and hopefully for the next few years.
so here's to a new start. here's to a new home and a new job, both of which make it so much easier to see the new mercies God has in store.
july 4th- jason's sister jenna comes to visit
july 11th- pack for move
july 18th- move into new apartment
july 25th- a few days with my sisters and brothers-in-law in south carolina, robbie and lauren's wedding
august 1st- day trip to new jersey
august 8th- hannah and josh's wedding in seattle
august 15th- emily and devin's wedding in minnesota, start new job on monday
august 22nd- finish unpacking
august 29th- day trip to old sturbridge village and my parents come to visit
september 5th- last weekend before jason starts school
it's been so wonderful to be able to see so much of our friends and family this summer. i'm so thankful that jason and i have such quality people in our lives, even if they are all spread out across the country. it was so refreshing to reconnect with people who have seen us grow and know us so well and who we can be 100% ourselves around without even trying. (i'm even thankful for the job--that i never have to go back to ever ever again--that allowed us to save some money for travelling this summer.)
and as restful and life-giving as all that community/reconnection was, boy am i glad to be in one place for a little while!! our summer adventures included about 35 hours of driving, 10 flights, 6 states, 4 family visits, 3 weddings, switching homes, switching jobs, and jason starting at a new school. it was definitely better than last summer (new marriage, pneumonia, moving to a new state/culture, new jobs, new church, new everything). it was a rocky start to a new life to say the least. way too many transitions, way too little time to enjoy being a wife and having a husband. but now, we feel like we finally have the life we set out to get last year. jason's starting school, i'm working at gordon, we're living on campus, and we're starting our second year of youth ministry (which we pray will be easier than the first). :o)
and i am like a different person, or rather...like the person i used to be. now, i don't go to bed at night hoping that i'll be sick the next morning. i don't lay in bed in the morning rationalizing how crappy i need to feel to justify calling in. i just go to bed and wake up (still very slowly--still so not a morning person), and i start my day. i go to work, and i have work to do, and sometimes i go to the gym afterwards, and when i get home, there is still plenty of time left in the day! it's truly amazing the difference having an afternoon makes. and i get to be in a setting that i care about, where i get to be creative now and then, and where i am constantly learning. i don't think this is my forever job--i'm realizing more and more how much i want to teach--but it's really ideal for the moment and hopefully for the next few years.
so here's to a new start. here's to a new home and a new job, both of which make it so much easier to see the new mercies God has in store.
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